Anonymous18th October 2021 at 2:32 pm #561643
You seem to have unlimited amounts of strength reserves to tap into, fruitcake but please take care of yourself too. I can fully understand Mr F’s depression, hopefully the meds will help lift him out. Your girls are a credit to you xxxx
I needed those reserves last night Jackie when Mr F had another attack of rigors and delirium, so yet another call to 15, fortunately, I was able to reduce the fever and avoid a blue light job. I rang the GP this morning to ask for a prescription for a blood test to determine the cause, he said to come straight away, I picked it up, came back and rang the nurse, she came late morning and the blood test is already being analysed.
I know full well that I will not have that sort of service once we arrive in the UK, but I will have the backup of our girls and not be dealing with it all alone. It’s quite a big responsibility to make the right decision in those circumstances. (Thank you for your comment about the girls, they are good girls, it will be nice to be near them)Anonymous19th October 2021 at 7:09 pm #561726
How is he now fruitcake?
Hoping he’s recovered today and is feeling better…
the ambulance service is generally very good in the Uk…my sister has called them very often in the last two years….never before in her life …I should add.
They are kind …efficient and usually rapid.
You will be fine…as long as mr Fruitcake has you in his corner…all will be under control.
We wish you nothing but well…
Again I must thank you for all your kind, positive and helpful comments.
Jackie – It is a urine infection (as I suspected) he has antibiotics so they will kick in and help, he’s very weak but today I am thrilled to report he ate scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast and a child-sized portion of beef stew at lunchtime – major breakthrough!
Flowergirl – Thank you for that, I must say that the lady in the dialysis centre in Brighton has been very kind and helpful and the receptionist in the medical centre in Rye had a very helpful attitude when I rang to explain things.
Cossie – I have no worries about getting care, our girls have no complaints in that area, it was the speed and level of service to get the care that I was speaking of before.
Morning folks, here I am again bending your ears with the latest state of play in the world of Mr & Mrs Fruitcake .
Mr F’s condition has worsened, he has become much more weak and frail, this has brought about a decision, between the girls and me to hire a private ambulance service for the journey back. I have not yet discussed this with Mr F but I know he will feel happier. I have started getting quotes for this.
The antidepressants have lifted his spirits a little but he still feels as though it’s all downhill from here and, of course, he’s probably right but, naturally I don’t admit that to him. It is what it is, I know that and I know what will eventually come, I’m dealing with it.
I’m also coping with organising everything for the move itself, have asked the estate agent to organise Power of Attorney for us both with the Notaire, Mr F is not fit enough to be there and it’s something less for me to fit into the time frame.
The thing I’m finding harder to deal with is logistics. I did have it all organised but now an ambulance is coming into the equation it has thrown previous plans awry. I need to travel in the ambulance with Mr F to not only be there for him but to be there at the other end to continue with his care. That’s okay but it leaves the daughter we were travelling back with, together with the dog, to make the journey on her own and I don’t want that, rest assured I will come up with a suitable solution, or the girls and I will between us.
Then the gite that I booked way back when has now presented me with another problem, when I booked it, although Mr F wasn’t good on stairs he could get up them, the gite has upstairs bedrooms but toilets up and down so it wasn’t a problem as he would only need to go up once at bedtime and come down once the next morning, there is no way he can get up the stairs now, but I will sort it.
On a positive note (yes, there is always one to find) the very nice lady in the dialysis centre in the UK has received all that she asked for from the consultant here and, bless her, is willing to translate it all.
Another positive is that I found when I read the leaflet in the tablets the doctor prescribed for Mr F to take at night, that they are habit-forming, cause sleepiness and on top of that should not be taken if suffering from renal failure!! The positive? It explains some of his zombie-like demeanour and I can slowly get him off of them!!
Everything can be sorted, solutions can be found, Mr F will get safely to our new home and he will make some happy memories with our girls and grandchildren.
I’m pleased to be able to share all this with those that are keeping up with it, thank you.
Now I must get my head back in solution-finding mode!!
Before my wife asked to be put on morphine she made a list of things she needed me to do . Things like checking wills, bank accounts and other practical things like that. She was almost manic about it and bullied me into making sure all those practical issues were sorted. The idea was to make life as easy as possible for me and the kids.
It’s the reality unfortunately which she was tuned in to and something I would have hesitated in bringing up.
I used to take files of papers to her hospital bed which we would go through and check. She wanted everything to be sorted before leaving this world.
I realized quickly after the advantages of such a system, however impersonal they appeared to be at the time
Fruitcake – You have and are going through so much at the moment – There is little we can do but offer support but I know that you can rest assured that every member of this site will be thinking of you at the moment and wish you every ounce of strength and courage in the future together with the love of your family.Anonymous27th October 2021 at 5:36 pm #562149
FC I kind of know what you are going through, you are nothing less than a superwoman. I hope Mr F can get himself somewhat better and the ambulance home is an excellent idea. I sincerely hope all goes well for you, your husband and all your family.
Pete your wife was courageous and very sensible, a woman after my own heart. I showed my girls a large brown envelope a few years ago telling them it contained everything they needed to know about what to do when I die, including every detail of what I want for my funeral, music, order of service, the lot. They didn’t want to know about it, but it’s there all the same.
Well, I’m getting there with the planning,
My ‘little’ brother has come to the rescue and with a bit of re-shuffling, plus arranging Power of Attorney so that we don’t have to physically be at the Notaire’s on completion I think we shall be okay
Plan – We move into the gite on Fri 12th – the van with son-in-law and son arrives Saturday 13th afternoon and is loaded by Saturday night – Sunday 14th van leaves – Monday 15th daughter and ‘little’ brother arrive and I will have started the cleaning of the house – Tuesday 16th Mr F has his final French dialysis in the afternoon, we three finish the cleaning – Wednesday 17th (completion day) ambulance takes Mr F & me to the UK, daughter, Conny & my brother travel back by car.
I have booked the ambulance, I have ordered our lateral flow 2 day Covid test kits, Conny has had her rabies jab, just the tapeworm to have, Mr F has electronically signed the Power of Attorney, I must pop into Notaire’s office to do mine (only one email address!)
I have organised the first dialysis appointment for Mr F in the UK for Saturday 20th.
I have organised with the nephrologist’s secretary here a certificate to say Mr F is fit to travel by road, (the ambulance company need it) it will be handed to him at this Saturday’s dialysis session.
I still need to sort out a bed for him at the gite (bedrooms are upstairs, wasn’t a problem when I booked it as, although he isn’t good on stairs, because there is a toilet both up and down he need only go up once and then he could, now he can’t) But I’m working on that one and think I have found a solution.
I have packed everything that I can pack until the last minute, I have managed to sell/dispose of nearly all of the furniture I need to.
All the paperwork is either dealt with or is prepared and ready to go when the time is right.
In the UK youngest daughter is dealing with house sanitising, furniture sourcing and all things practical. Eldest is dealing with utilities, broadband and all things administrative.
Mr F has become very frail now, is not in any pain as such but just feels weak and unwell, which, of course, he is. He finds the dialysis very tiring and sleeps a lot. I manage to get a bit of food into him each meal but it’s never in any great quantity. We saw the Urologist today and he says the JJ catheters in the kidneys are working and helping to stave off any blockages so the kidneys themselves, with this help, are working, they just need the muck flushing out of them twice a week (dialysis). They will need an ultrasound scan in 3 months.
He is just managing to get up to test his blood sugar three times a day, when I administer the appropriate insulin, eat whatever he can eat of each meal, then back to bed or sit in his armchair. The antidepressants do seem to be helping his morale, although, of course, he knows how poorly he is and can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, but I encourage him to believe things will seem better once he can see his girls and his grandkids. He wants to believe me.
Good morning Fruitcake, I have been following this thread since it started. I can only say that your fortitude, positivity and determination is an inspiration to us all. I can only wish the very best for you and Mr F. I am sure with you at the helm things should go ok.
We are all thinking of you. Looking at all the positive comments on this thread you have a lot of good wishes and verbal support from members on here.
Good morning everyone,
Thank you yet again for all your good and supportive wishes, I would just like to share one more thing with you this message from one of our daughters – THIS is the support I have, THIS is what keeps me going;-
Mum, you are as always the glue that keeps us all together, with your endless love and positive attitude through the worst and of course best of times. It’s been hard knowing you have had to deal with pretty much all of this on your own, I just thank god it’s only 2 more weeks before you are both safely back over in the UK. Then we can finally all be there to help wherever is needed. It’s obviously very sad that you’ve had to make the move back under these circumstances, as I know you have both loved your time in France, with so many stories and memories but we are nonetheless so pleased to be able to have you both back and so close to us. There will be lots of hugs, tears and no doubt relief when you return. This Christmas is most definitely looking to be a very special occasion, however we manage to spend it, it will be together. Love you and Dad so very much, you truly are the best parents anyone could ever wish for
Reminds me of a chat with my son a few years back. We were talking about being good at things, having special talents etc. I said I’m not very good at anything tho’ I can turn my hand to most thing to a fair level.
He said, you’re great at being a dad.
That made me feel pretty good.
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