Home Forums Uplifting News How to be happy.

This topic contains 24 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  jo-infrance 7 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #38488

    jo-infrance
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    I’ve been having a general clear out and found an exercise book in which I had written the following list.

    Now I’m not saying it’s MY original list, but it’s not a bad place to start. It would be quite a nice idea I think to reflect on what  makes us happy.

    I know that each day has it’s moments of happiness and most of them fit into one of these categories   So here goes

    1) Think of yourself LESS

    2) Be busy but not rushed

    3) Have 5 close relationships

    4) Be proactive about your relationships

    5) Move beyond the small talk

    6) Treat yourself (the small pleasures matter)

    7) Plan fun, and spend money on experiences

    8) Keep your eye on the prize

    9) Show some appreciation

    10) Observe happiness in others

    11) Change your perspective

    12) Pick a skill, master it

    13) Aim high – challenge yourself

    14) Exercise – even 7 minutes a dy

    15) Don’t let time slip away.

     

    This weekend I have achieved a number of the things on the list. So am feeling quite good about it. On the whole I am happy with my life. It’s the wider world I despair of!

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    #38490

    petejames
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    There’s not much you can do about the wider world Jo so try not to think about it.

    Of your points , I agree with them all except :

    3 : How ‘close’ do you mean by close , and why ‘5’ ?

    12 : I regret not being a ‘master’ of any skill. I recall a few years back talking about this with my son with me saying that I wasn’t any good at anything but not particulalrly bad at anything i’ve tried. He replied “Well, you’re the BEST father anyone can have ” which was nice to hear.

    14 : The exercise is important and I try to do as much a I can, within reason.

     

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    #38627

    jo-infrance
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    Better late than never…

    It is a list I obviously copied from somewhere, so why 5 friends I know not, except that, in general, an odd number is better than an even number – maybe that’s to discuss, but I find it to be the case…

    And how close is close? well, I suppose that depends on circumstances. I think it probably means people with whom you would share your closest feelings and thoughts, people you can depend on to come to your aid when you are in dire need, and for whom you would do the same thing.

    As for mastering a skill. I know that mastering a new skill is one of the ways of ‘avoiding’ Alzheimers, It keeps one’s brain sharp.  I think it’s more the practice than the competence, but maybe also the sense of achievement when you get there. New challenges would work as well, doing something you have never done before.

    I have to do more exercise, I know that. But I am not in a good place at the mo. I use any excuse. OK, my health isn’t brilliant, but some exercise would help…

    And thinking about the wider world. I cannot agree that I can do nothing. I will continue to try to persuade people to modify their behaviour – sounds awful that, but you know what I mean. Explaining for example that water is a FINITE resource, or that buying un-shrink-wrapped vegetables is so much better for the environment, or just to recycle more! The problem is the change is too slow to be of any great value. I believe we are running out of time. It is already too late…Just glad I’m old and won’t be around to see it…(unless of course some idiot starts chucking nuclear weapons around!!!)

    Anyway.

    Today I have a young woman from China coming to stay for a week. She has never been to Europe before, so I think it is going to be a challenge! I know she is excited, and a bit of that is rubbing off on me, so maybe this is the start of another phase in my life…And it says the weather is going to improve too, so maybe we can get out for some long walks, well, as long as my dodgy knees can take….

    Have a good day one and all.

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    #39466

    jo-infrance
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    I decided to resurrect this thread! In reality I have forgottn, yet again, how to start a new one. I will work it out again soon!

    I often have helpxers staying with me. Recently I had a young Chinese girl. She really didn’t recognise the China I talked about. She was appalled that I thought they were major polluters of the planet, and she was fairly dismissive at the lack of use of technology. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t pay everywhere with her phone…  Yes, I considered that a lot of what she said was brainwashing, but I learnt a lot about China and Chinese society.

    At the moment I have a Frenchwoman here. She is fairly critical about my ways of doing things which I am finding a bit hard to cope with. She appears in some respects to be much more ‘eco’ than me and has made me realise that I have let things slip a bit. However, she is less than happy that I don’t have the heating on more often. However, I value her presence. I am realising more and more as I grow older that I need people around me. I used to love living on my own, but not so much now.

    So.

    In an effort to be happy, I try to look at what made me happy today/ yesterday.

    A mundane list you may think, but little doses of happiness all day.

    We cleaned the balcony – it’s tiny but was filthy dirty. Now it’s clean and fresh looking.

    I got an invitation to a reception given by the Mairie. I think it’s because I might have won a prize in a competition I didn’t enter!

    We had wonderful fresh food from a garden near me. soupe de potiron and rainbow chard with our mail course.

    I’m still eating mostly vegetarian. Good for my health and for my pocket.

    We went for a long walk in the forest. Something I daren’t do when I’m on my own.

    I had a lovely evening with my meditation group.

    Right, have to go hang the washing up!

    Have a nice day y’all!

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    #39475

    farmerchris
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    Happiness is very personal . We all have good and bad times in our lives . A lot of people expect others to make them happy , but as we all learn as we age (or should do ) there is only one person that can make you happy ?

    Happiness for me is being outside in the woods or fields with nature, peace and quiet to think and smile about the wonders of this world and at times about the idiocies and smallness of man :yes: :yes:

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    #39484

    britchick
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    Happiness and contentment. What’s the difference? I feel contented sitting in a comfortable chair,in a warm room with a good book and a glass of wine. Knowing my food cupboards are fullish and there is money for the bills.Stems from years on my own with a young family and having none of the above.

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    #39494

    bluevelvet
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    Simple things like rainbows, a beautiful view, blue skies and sunshine make me happy! An unexpected smile or  hello from anyone or hearing nice music, or looking at a beautiful painting.  A young baby laughing.  :heart:

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    #39508

    Vegemite Kid
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    Do what you want to do, not what you think other people think you ought to do.

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    #39522

    jo-infrance
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    VK I agree, however doing something to please someone else can bring unexpectedly happy results sometimes!

    My list from yesterday. Finished the pie carriers (I’m busy trying to make stuff to sell at a Christmas market) Tidied up my painting stuff. Spent a couple of hours with a really good book, and took my visitor to a meditation group in a yurt – totally different to the last one- and had a wonderful evening with people I cherish…And there was sunshine in the daytime and a glorious moon to guide us through the forest last night. MAGIC!

     

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    #39767

    gleaner
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    Excellent post jo-infrance

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    #39798

    jo-infrance
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    I am alone in my house. I don’t have to be quiet (it’s very early!) and I can just relish the silence.

    The last couple of days have been incredibly busy but completely lovely.

    My visitor left on Friday morning and I rushed home to have a telephone conference with someone – who forgot to be there! (so it’s organised again for this morning.) but it did mean I managed to do a bit of housework. Then I had my lovely friend Laure come by for lunch – a bit rushed but I do so enjoy her company. Then off to Haute Correze to a painting group and a stay overnight with a friend, mainly so she could help me with a patchwork project, She is much more skilled than me – however, we had just got started when other friends dropped in unexpectedly and stayed not only for apero, but eventually for dinner too! Didn’t get much patchwork done so will go again next week!

    Yesterday was a gentle drive home, a bit of shopping en route – went to Emmaus in Egleton! – didn’t buy much but met 3 friends I hadn’t seen for ages. Total joy! Came home and promptly fell asleep on the sofa – it’s becoming a habit.

    Later I called several old friends in the UK. Yes, they are friends of long duration but they have been guides and counsellors for me and are now all waiting upon the end of their lives. They are a lot older than me, Late 80’s. It was lovely to talk to them. The shoe is a bit on the other foot now. They ask my opinion about things.

    Life is full of happy moments. It takes a bit of work sometimes to recognise them. In the bad times I have a – what shall I call it? – a system maybe?  Each night before I go to sleep I think about three things that have pleased me in the day. In the worst times these could be as basic as ‘I got through the day in one piece’. or ‘I washed my face this morning’. Anyone who has suffered with depression will recognise these as achievements.

    I hadn’t intended to write so much, but it just kept rolling out. Being happy is something we have to work on, and it isn’t always easy. What I have found is that knowing myself better has been a great help. PMA (positive mental attitude) is very important.

    Enough! this time I really DO have to go bake a cake!

    SMILE! have a nice day y’all…

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    #39810

    farmerchris
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    Busy , busy, busy , Jo ? You are obviously someone that likes people and diversity? You get up a lot earlier than we do in the Winter , probably why you fit so much into a day .

    PMA is  very important . Change mistakes and negativeness into learning , that helps a lot . Our TV went poof this morning , so looking for a book that needs to be read .

    Too many lovely days at the moment , a bit of rain would be great ! ?  :yes:   :yes:

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    #39840

    stinky
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    Maybe you had not intended to write so much Jo, but it was a feel good post, it made us pleased for your day’s achievements. Enjoyable reading because you write so well.  Thankyou.

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    #39842

    jo-infrance
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    Thank you! praise indeed coming from you.

    I usually get up about 6ish, but I’m still trying to cope with the change of hour, so it’s a bit earlier at the mo.

    My daily morning routine is to read and respond to emails, check Facebook in case there is anything important, check the Couchsurfing groups I belong to, then come on here. It is a lovely comforting routine. My cubbyhole under the stairs is quite big, I don’t have to squeeze in, it has a reasonable head height and contains a desk and chair. I bring a flask of tea and wrap myself up in a warm dressing gown and socks, and just enjoy the quiet and lack of stress… Sometimes when I have people staying with me this time is curtailed. I have to prepare breakfast etc. And because I use overnight electricity I may have the washing machine or dishwasher to empty. (oh, yes! I have a dishwasher, it is tiny, but very useful when there are visitors. It doesn’t get used on a regular basis. My kitchen sink area is also tiny, with nowhere to stack dishes, so it is very useful.) By the time I switch off in the morning I feel a degree of contentment that I have already achieved something useful. The only snag is this is a very old laptop and is slow and I can’t always open things I want to look at. I have a new laptop but haven’t yet had the courage to change them over….

    Today I have another birthday cake to make. This time a pink one! The one yesterday was a chocolate one. Two of my lovely ‘grandchildren’ ( I was adopted by an immigrant family) have birthdays. One was 2 yesterday and one is 3 today! not even a year between them!

    Sometimes the daily grind gets too much for me, but most of the time I just count my blessings and try not to dwell too much on the less pleasant things in life (and this last 2 years I have had to survive some really hard things) Putting one foot in front of the other each day is sometimes quite painful, and there are still mornings when I don’t want to wake up…

    I wish you all a good day, whatever you are doing.

    cheers

    Jo

     

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    #39846

    petejames
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    I’ve been through some tough times Jo like most of us no doubt but i’ve never wished I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. It’s sad you should feel that way Jo when you think of what you contribute to this world. A lot of people would miss you so stick around !!

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    #40036

    jo-infrance
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    Monday night I was at the birthday party (with the two birthday cakes!) for my gorgeous ‘grandchildren’

    Here’s a (not very good) photo – I hope! Nope, can’t do it from this machine, will have to try it later…

    Have a good day y’all!

     

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    #41975

    jo-infrance
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    I wanted to share my lovely evening last night.
    I am part of a group that organises a meditation each week. Once a month I organise an hour’s silent meditation ‘after the manner of Friends(Quakers)’ which, though not always ‘sold out’ is a deep and meaningful experience for those who take part. Last night we were 7.
    It takes place in a yourt in a forest. The owner of the property had lit the stove in the yourt and arranged the seating, so it was lovely and warm. The meditation was deep and fulfilling. At the end we just stood hugging each other for ages without talking. There was no need for words. The joy was tantamount.
    We trooped back to the house and set to share our repast. It is a bring and share meal and usually quite extraordinary. This time was no exception. Someone had brought a bottle of very nice Beaujolais Nouveau. And a huge box of chocolates at the end!…
    Our conversation, which was quite muted, ranged from Johnny(not madly complimentary) – of course! through Jean d’Ormesson, The cost of firewood, the ‘correctness’ of eating foie gras( which was delicious!) to the deliciousness of the other dishes which had been brought, what we are going to do over Christmas and New Year, which included me mentioning the festival of Lanterns in Gaillac, and an invitation from someone for me to go there to see it (wonderful!) and a bit of gentle fun poking at me and the owner of the place because of our strong affection for each other, which made me blush.
    I left about midnight, because I’m off ‘up country’ in a few hours and have lots to do before I go. When I left the house I stood looking at the panoply of stars (very little light pollution there). I drove home slowly, savouring the dark and the night and the emptiness around me. When I think of how I so nearly didn’t end up here, I thank the powers for guiding me to this place, where I am just so happy.
    I am so looking forward to the next few days….
    Peace and love and light to you all.

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    #42075

    jo-infrance
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    Still happy. Spent a nice day with friends and another one to come. Had a lovely long relaxing evening doing not very much -unusual for me but very nice.

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    #42079

    petejames
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    Had a good day yesterday after some trepidation beforehand. The good lady had to have a tooth extracted and all went very well despite loads of hassle since the beginning of the year. The tooth has needed removing since january but she is allergic to many local anaethestics and so has visited clinics and allergy specialist since then. Latest tests from november discovered a product non-harmful and the big day went off without any problems.

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    #42089

    britchick
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    Ooh dentist are my biggest fear.Best wishes to your lady for a speedy recovery.We went to visit our new puppy Rosie.She will,hopefully ,be a friend for our rescue boy Fada.

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